Doc Love: What It Means When She Criticises You

She Doesn't Love You

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"She says that I have changed, she keeps criticising me about everything, says that my personality is not that of the guy she knew."
This week, Doc Love, author of The System, helps a man understand why his girl doesn't love him.

Hey Doc,

I’m from India and I moved to Italy last year for my studies. That’s where I met Dulcina six months ago. We became very close friends. She is extremely hot and every guy in the neighbourhood wants to be with her. I am just above average, and in general most girls aren’t attracted to me. In my 24 years of life, I’ve had only one small relationship while she has had many men.

Despite our cultural differences, Dulcina and I have many things in common. I started becoming very attracted to her, and I revealed this to her honestly. At that point she told me that she wanted me only as a friend and nothing more, and I respected her decision and feelings, and we continued our relationship as just friends.

At a party I got drunk and made out with a girl I had crush on and then told Dulcina about this incident. She got extremely angry with me, saying that I lied to her about my feelings for her and that I only want to sleep with every other girl I meet. After a huge argument, she didn’t talk to me for two days. I was confused by what happened. After she calmed down, she told me that she did not know that she had feelings for me and that this incident made her realise how much she loves me. She said that she would love to see if we could have a relationship, but she didn’t want to tell anyone and wanted to try dating secretly.

Recently, Dulcina and I started living together, but since then everything has fallen apart. She says that I have changed, she keeps criticising me about everything, says that my personality is not that of the guy she knew and that I am no longer a person with solid principles and that she misunderstood me. We had a big fight, and now she says that she wants nothing to do with me, neither a relationship nor a friendship. I am really perplexed. I don’t want to lose Dulcina in any way. What should I do, Doc?

Omar - whose head is whirling

Doc Love's Response

Hi Omar,

Your first problem with Dulcina is that you got to be close friends with her. When that happened, it took you straight out of the boyfriend-girlfriend zone. To you psych majors, if you’re friends with a babe, you can’t be her boyfriend.

You and Dulcina might have everything in common, Omar, including a love of pepperoni pizza, but the most important thing is her interest level in you -- which you leave out of your letter altogether. When you told her how attracted you were to her, you weren’t being honest; you were being open. Each of those words has a completely different meaning and connotation, which are described in my book, which obviously you don’t have. Next Page >>

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