Your New Year Dating Revolution
"Stop playing games, stop dicking around and, if you like a girl, it’s almost entirely up to you to make the first move."
How many of you have made New Year’s Resolutions for 2013? None of you, of course. Resolutions are for American teenagers with journals, trashy TV characters in want of more stimulating storylines, and some women.
Then again, dating isn’t straightforward and, well, couldn’t we all benefit from making some ‘New Year, New Outlook’ type improvements?
No self-respecting dating columnist would ask self-respecting men -- you, dear readers -- to jot down a bunch of dating resolutions. Instead, I’ll do that for you. No need to recite them into your pillow every night, or even discuss with anyone else. But, if you ask me, these are rules every man should live his dating life by…
1. Scrap your 'type’
Open-minded people will say they don’t have a ‘type’ when it comes to the opposite sex. ‘A sense of humour’ goes without saying. There is not one person who would describe their ideal partner as, ‘Sexy, smart but not actually that funny.’ I myself might claim to opt for men, ‘tall, chiseled and with nice arms,’ but if you were to line up my ex-boyfriends it would look less Abecrombie & Fitch, more The Usual Suspects. You don’t necessarily know who you’re attracted to until you start dating, so by sticking to a carbon copy of Miss Right, you’ll be left with a very limited dating palette.
2. Make a move
Stop playing games, stop dicking around and, if you like a girl, it’s almost entirely up to you to make the first move. "What about feminism, equality and women’s liberation?!" I hear you cry. I’m all for women making the first move, but realistically the majority of us are just as scared of rejection as you and, I’m afraid, do expect men to express interest before we respond. No need for proposals on date one, mind. Just start a chain of friendly emails or texts and see how she responds. Replying with questions generally means she’s interested. Blunt replies. Move on.
3. Change your dating habits
What I mean here is simply to shake things up a bit. Could this be the time to get over your online dating phobia? Maybe this year you find new places to go out and meet women? Think of all those couples you know. Surely there’s a plethora of mate’s girlfriend’s to introduce you to their single, pretty friends? Who knows, but if 2012 didn’t do it for your sex life there’s no way 2013 will unless you make a few tweaks.
4. Leave 2012 in the past
Still sensitive after a bad breakup or reeling from a string of awful dates in 2012? Stop moping and making excuses. Women like strong men. Be perceptive to your emotions, yes. Drag past issues into a new relationship, no no no. Issues are boring. They make us feel inadequate and a bit helpless. But mainly it’s just the boring thing. A new relationship means a new start, right? Have fun and forget the rest.
5. Don’t waste time in an unhappy relationship
Life really is too short to be miserable. You may be scared of hurting her, scared of change and scared of being single, but aren’t all those momentary blips better than being unhappy in in a relationship that you know isn’t right? Yes, they are.
As for my dating resolutions, I’m going to follow my own advice. More dates, more fun, more stories. It would make for a pretty dull dating column otherwise, right?