Doc Love: Dealing With A Girlfriend's Confession
This week, Doc Love, author of "The System," enlightens a reader on dealing with a red flag."It’s sweet that Kelsey called you her soul mate, but her confession has you thinking about her past behavior all the time."
I’m confused and need some coaching.
I’ve been with Kelsey for a year. She’s everything I could ask for in a woman, and I love her very much. A couple of months ago, she traveled to another state to do a six-month internship. I didn’t object to it because I felt like I could trust her and didn’t have to worry about anything. She always told me that she loved me with all her heart and that I’m her soul mate.
I went to visit her for a weekend, and she confessed that during the time between breaking up with her ex-boyfriend and getting together with me, she was a promiscuous woman. Finding this out was a blow to me, but she assured me that it was a rocky time in her life, that it was her way of coping and that it’s in the past and that I have nothing to worry about. We worked things out and I put my trust in her.
Lately, Kelsey has been having fits of depression. She recently admitted that two weeks ago she cheated on me. She went to a club with her friends, got drunk and had a one-night stand with a stranger and spent the night with him at a hotel. I wish I could describe how much this has devastated me. I guess she tried to make me feel better by telling me that she didn’t enjoy it, but that didn’t really comfort me.
I am confused about whether or not I should give this woman another chance. I love her a lot, but I don’t know what to do. She assures me that this will never happen again and that she feels horrible about betraying me. She even claims she’s not going to drink anymore either. What would you advise, Doc?
Elton - whose heart has been ripped out
You might think that Kelsey is everything you want and love in a woman, but what does she love about you? Is her Interest Level in the 90s, like yours is? Does she have a great attitude? Is she a flexible giver?
You couldn’t object to Kelsey’s going away for six months for her career. She had to go, regardless of your approval. If you would have told her to stay, you would have come off as an unsupportive idiot. So this situation had nothing whatsoever to do with you, guy.
It’s sweet that Kelsey called you her soul mate, but her confession has you thinking about her past behavior all the time. All Kelsey did was move the load from herself to you, and now the whole thing is on you. Isn’t that great? Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Some women are really stupid when it comes to making confessions.” Next Page >>