Doc Love: Being The Rebound Guy

She Was Dumped

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"Supposedly the heartache or anxiety of getting dumped by her boyfriend has started to creep into her mind."
This week, Doc Love, author of "The System,"warns a reader about recently dumped women.
Hey Doc,

I have been dating Lacey for a few months. She was recently dumped by her boyfriend. At the beginning, it was light and fun between us, because she was doing the chasing, which she mentioned she never had to do before. Before I knew it, we got very romantic with each other.

I went on holiday to Hawaii not long ago. Lacey stated that I was being “distant” because I never phoned her but only texted. While I was gone, she attended a wedding that her ex-boyfriend also attended. She said she confronted him about his cheating with another woman while they were together. The air was allegedly cleared, and Lacey’s ex told her that he was dating the other lady now and that he was happy. Lacey mentioned that she was seeing someone else -- me -- and apparently he flipped and got angry.

When I got back from Hawaii, Lacey picked me up from the airport, but she seemed a bit different. We have hung out a few times since then, but it has been rough. We had a miscommunication when she thought I wanted to be more serious with her but was, in fact, fine with what we had.

Supposedly the heartache or anxiety of getting dumped by her boyfriend has started to creep into her mind. I’m confused. I never said once that I wanted anything serious with Lacey and she keeps insisting that she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I know this is some kind of Womanese on her part and I called her on it, which may or may not have been a good thing.

Doc, I do like Lacey. It’s a lot of fun hanging out with her. I know that Interest Level cuts through everything, but is recent breakup anxiety, or whatever it is called, a common occurrence? Any coaching you can give would be much appreciated, because I am not sure how much time I have left with this girl if my next move is wrong.

Gabor - who can’t figure her out

Doc Love's Response

Hi Gabor,

How do you know Lacey was recently dumped by her boyfriend? That’s only what she told you. You don’t actually know the facts of the situation because you weren’t there. Sometimes, when a girl tells you she’s been dumped, it was actually she who did the dumping. It’s just her perspective that she’s been dumped. In other words, she may have made the guy so miserable that she forced him into doing the dirty work so she could keep her own hands clean. This is one possibility that you’re missing here, Gabor. On the other hand, when Lacey mentioned that she had to chase you, it shows the power of Challenge and how effectively it works. Next Page >>

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