Doc Love On Fighting For A Girl

Her Interest

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"I did the worst possible thing and told her she could be the one for me. From that point onwards things have been going downhill."
This week, Doc Love, author of "The System," coaches a reader who wants to raise his girlfriend's interest level.

Hey Doc,

I have been reading “The System” in hopes that I can win back the woman that I want to love for the rest of my life. I am so confused as to what I should do and I think you could definitely coach me.

Here’s the situation. Both myself and Sara are 20 years old and studying at uni. We’ve been dating for 16 months. For most of our relationship her Interest Level has been high. She has dropped hints at a “future out of uni” with me. I always avoided talking about it because I didn’t feel the same.

Recently I have realised that Sara is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life. My problem is that now she doesn’t feel the same. I did the worst possible thing and told her she could be the one for me. From that point onwards things have been going downhill.

About three months ago Sara brought up the idea of a break for a full year since we will both be extremely busy with our studies. She also told me that she wants to see if she can balance things in her life without me for a while and that she wants to experience being young and at uni. She says she still loves me, she just doesn’t “love love love” me. She wants to take the break to see if she can find that kind of deep love for me.

I told Sara that I won’t wait around on a leash for her to make a decision. We have two options: She is either ready to be with me and marry me or we break up. It has hurt to realise that I have stopped being a Challenge to her. How I got her to date me in the first place was by playing hard to get and since I never revealed my feelings to her I was always a Challenge.

Doc, how do I get Sara’s Interest Level back up to where it used to be? This is the girl for me. I know she still loves me, I just need her to “love love love” me.

Thanks for taking the time to coach me.

Ward - who feels like fighting

Hi Ward,

The first major problem you have is that at 20 years old Sara is nothing but a kid emotionally. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “When she’s that young, she’s going to change her mind like the wind and when the tree falls, it’s gonna fall right on your head.” “The System” addresses the risks of dating girls of a certain -- very young --- age. You must have skipped that part, pal.

You say that most of the time Sara’s Interest Level was high, but yours wasn’t. Let me ask you this: Why were you with her in the first place? If she didn’t interest you very much, there must have been a reason. Were there red flags that bothered you? Did you ignore them? Why?

But then you suddenly turned around and realised that you were in love with Sara. What happened, man? What did Sara do to change your mind? Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Youth is fickle.”Next Page >>

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