The Snob On Marriage Watches

Devon Tread

“So what are my thoughts on these marriage watches? As you might expect, I frown upon them as readily as I do any other form of marriage other than that of gin and tonic in a cold glass.“

Devon Works Watches

Dear Snob,

I was looking for a quirky present for a friend’s birthday when I came across something very odd… a £12,500 watch! It is a Devon Tread 1. Now reading the description and searching for more information the watch doesn’t have anything of heritage in regards to horology but engineering-wise it is quite impressive — to me, at least (I am an engineer) — and was just wondering what your thoughts were?

I am truly conflicted about the Devon Tread. The idea of electric motors driving the movement troubles me, yet I do appreciate the mechanical ingenuity behind its design. But what settles the conflict in my own head is the fact that the watch is just so ugly and hideously large. While the Tread 2 seems to have solved some of the issues of the first edition, namely its loud motor and its grotesque dimensions, it still looks like something a steroidal, adulterous, ex-action-star governor would wear. And that is enough to send me running in the other direction.

Marriage Watches

Dear Snob,

What are your thoughts on marriage watches? I like the idea of housing antique, original movements in a brand new case, but are these a form of creating a new masterpiece or a piece of worthless junk?

As faithful readers will know, I have been asked for marriage advice before, usually related to a watch to buy for a spouse or how to sneak a new purchase past a shrewish Frau. You’ll also then know that I am not a fan of this archaic institution and all of its trappings. But before rendering an opinion on this subject, I think it is appropriate to educate certain unenlightened readers on exactly what a “marriage watch” is. It is not, as many may think, a gift you get from your betrothed to celebrate your day of holy incarceration. Rather it is a watch that, as the questioner implies, “marries” an older movement, usually from a pocket watch, in a newer case to be worn on the wrist.

So what are my thoughts on these marriage watches? As you might expect, I frown upon them as readily as I do any other form of marriage other than that of gin and tonic in a cold glass. First of all, pocket watch movements typically lack any form of shock protection and are therefore ill-suited for regular wear on a wrist, where they can be easily damaged by even minor impacts or movement. Secondly, a movement belongs in the watch for which it was made and there is much unscrupulous shifting of movements into watches with inauthentic dials and cases that are then presented to the unsuspecting public as true vintage timepieces. My advice is to avoid marriage altogether and either find a restored pocket watch and wear it proudly as such — in your pocket — or get a vintage wristwatch. Once a bachelor, always a bachelor.

Question From A Watch Knob

I’m in the market for a new watch and it’s going to be my first mechanical movement. Unfortunately my budget is around $1,000. I currently rotate between a Tag Aquaracer that my father got me as a gift and a Tissot PRC200 Chrono. I also have a couple of Citizens and though they are nothing “grand,” I love them none the less. I’m looking for something that’s durable yet slightly refined. I’ve read some good things you’ve said about the Lum-Tec’s and was thinking about the Cobalt Chromium they are coming out with this year. It has the Miyota 9015 movement in it and I love the black face on the brown leather. Does it scream wannabe Panerai? I do like the fact that no one really knows them and that’s kind of what I’m looking for. I want something different. Is this a good watch for my price range? Should I be looking for something with a Swiss ETA 2824? And if so, what would be in my price range? I know you hate discussing watches within this price point, but with my stay-at-home wife watching our three kids, this is kind of a big deal and I want it to be a great timepiece! Unfortunately, that’s the largest budget I can afford. Thanks for your help!

There is so much wrong with your question, I scarcely know where to begin — your budget, the fact that you want a watch called “Lum-Tec” (and consider it refined) or the fact that you can sully even Panerai with your farfetched comparison. No, even for a thousand dollars, you can do better.

Given your penchant for awkward, bulky quartz watches, your notion of “refined” is clearly skewed. So don’t second guess the watch I am going to recommend. Just go out and buy it and don’t look back. The Hamilton Intra-matic is 38 millimeters, a dead ringer for its 1960s forebear and, while not horologically groundbreaking, uses a slightly more upscale and slimmer ETA movement, the 2892. And please dispense with the wife-and-kids sob story next time. If you’ve read any of my columns, you’ll know I don’t give a damn.