How Do You Actually Get Confidence?

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What do women really mean when they say it’s the No. 1 thing they look for? What is your boss thinking when he passes you over for someone more aggressive and less capable? What’s behind your decision not to wear shorts on the hottest day of the year on account of your chicken legs?

Confidence is a loaded concept. It colors so many aspects of our lives but remains an elusive, abstract quality. Advice columns (including those on our site) implore you to develop it, but how? 

We are firm believers that all men can become confident, and we know some of you have gotten over your self-consciousness. If you’ve learned a thing or two about confidence, we want to hear about it. Submit your tips, stories and thoughts to editorial@askmen.com, or post in the comments section, and we may publish them in our upcoming comprehensive e-book on building confidence.