Doc Love: Understanding Her Signals
Getty Images
“She constantly showers me with affection when we are together and always shows me little signs that she is thinking about me, but never verbally communicates anything.“
This week, Doc Love, author of “The System,“ tells a dude to relax a bit.
Hey Doc,
I read your articles religiously, and they’ve been a tremendous help to me.
I’m 40, divorced for two years and have dated a handful of women in that time. I met my current girlfriend, Brittney, two months ago, and we hit it off. She’s 31 and has two kids, 14 and three. No dads are in the picture. Brittney is extremely smart and just finished her master’s degree, despite having two kids and working a job, which impressed me.
Our relationship has progressed slowly and steadily, and we see each other once or twice a week. I also have two kids from my marriage, and I’m responsible for them on a part-time basis. I follow your advice and never put any pressure on Brittney. I always wait for her to initiate physical contact and will sometimes go a day without contacting her at all. I’m trying to remain a Challenge and keep her interested.
Not long ago, Brittney asked me to be her boyfriend and I accepted. The romantic chemistry is there, but Brittney will rarely if ever tell me how she feels about me or where she thinks we are. I’ve told her that she needs to communicate more and she agreed, but I still don’t know how she really feels about our relationship other than asking me to be her boyfriend. She constantly showers me with affection when we are together and always shows me little signs that she is thinking about me, but never verbally communicates anything.
Recently, I took Brittney on a date to a bar to meet one of my guy friends. My friend asked her what she did for fun, and she said very straightforwardly, “I hang out with Wilt.” That made me feel good. An hour and a couple drinks later, the dance floor opened up and she asked me if my friend wanted to dance. I was a little surprised that she would ask that, but I played it cool and leaned over and asked him if he wanted to dance with Brittney. He declined, saying it was kind of weird. I was a little irritated but didn’t let it show. Then I went to the restroom and left Brittney at the bar. When I got back, some other guy was talking to her. Her arms were crossed and I could tell she was not being cooperative, but I feel as though she should have walked away or said something that would have let this guy know she was taken. Brittney and I went out and danced a bit before calling it a night.
Doc, how do I know what Brittney is really feeling and get her to say it? Was it odd that she wanted to dance with my friend and that she didn’t want to get away when approached at the bar by someone who was clearly trying to pick her up?
Wilt – who is suddenly confused