Watch Snob: Does This Timepiece Have A Single Redeeming Quality?

Haldimann

“Beat Haldimann is a classically trained Swiss watchmaker who obviously either hates timepieces or has a bad methamphetamine habit.“

The Watch Snob is in.

Haldimann Watches

Dear Snob,

I was wondering what you thought of the Haldimann H8 and H9 watches. I realise appreciating the craftsmanship and artistic aspects of a watch are important, but selling watches for over CHF 150,000 that don’t actually tell the time seems too pretentious to me. For that kind of money, why not just get a Lange Double Split that is amazing mechanically and aesthetically and, oh, by the way, is not useless.

Ironic, isn’t it, that when trying to explain the merits of timepieces to the unwashed masses, we say it’s about more than telling time, but when Haldimann creates these watches that don’t even tell time, we dismiss them? No wonder the peasants are confused.

Not that Haldimann deserves any more attention, but a brief explanation for those readers fortunate enough not to be aware of the brand is in order. Beat Haldimann is a classically trained Swiss watchmaker who obviously either hates timepieces or has a bad methamphetamine habit. His H8 is a watch that, as my astute reader has pointed out, does not tell the time. Rather it merely displays the movement’s tourbillon at the centre of the dial.

Now, I love tourbillons, but their raison d’être is to improve a watch’s ability to more precisely tell the time. To watch it spin around on your wrist is the equivalent of a motor without a car or an empty bottle of 15-year-old Tobermory — worthless.

The H9 is even worse. Apparently, it displays the time; however, Mr. Haldimann chose to conceal the dial behind a completely opaque crystal. If the H8 could be dismissed as folly, the H9 is a pure mockery of the history of watchmaking.

I’m all for modern art and experimentation. But one tenet that should never be abandoned in watchmaking is the display of time. So while I’m not certain if you were asking a question or just seeking my affirmation, but you’re correct about Haldimann and have succeeded in putting me in a foul mood.

A Mid-Range Collector’s Item

Snob,

I am an avid reader of your weekly column and try to stay current despite being deployed to Afghanistan at this time, and felt compelled to write. I am an Army captain about to wrap up my service, and would like to commemorate that with a watch purchase. Next Page >>